Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
