the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
