Me too!
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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