i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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