You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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