My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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