And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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