there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
handjob tips. give me some.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
wow bdsm is so cute
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