All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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