My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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