somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
