Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
