dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
