I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
