My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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