so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
