As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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