how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
