Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
