And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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