he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
