we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
