Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
