I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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