You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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