I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize