I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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