he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
