Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Randomize
