I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize