i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
