I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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