my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
