you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
My hand turned me down
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
