Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
