i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
