i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
The power of my boobs compel you
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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