Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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