if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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