Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He did a backflip because drugs
God I need to hump something, right now.
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