He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
