Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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