I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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