Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
