I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
