You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
