did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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