Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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