Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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