erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
