i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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