Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
