i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
