Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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