What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
