You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
