im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize