The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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