She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
