she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
