Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
